The Realm of Trees
The sky used to be
blue all of the time. Whenever I opened
my eyes and looked up I could not see anything else, just the color blue. Clouds hardly ever appeared. I did not know many colors, only four; green, blue, white and the color
of the bench located next to the swing at the park. I had not been aware of that color for very
long. It was dark and not so pleasant to
see. The bench was broken in some places,
which gave it a more gloomy appearance.
I would ask my mother about the color of the bench, but she would not
answer my question. She would open her
many, many green arms and would say in a soft voice, “Tree-sha, you are too
small for this.” She did not speak to me
about the color of the bench again.
It is interesting. What could be so special about that
color? The trees would not answer this
question for me. The unanswered
questions were flying around me like a swarm of butterflies. Even the butterflies were entirely blue.
I remember when I
was young, a butterfly landed on my branch.
It’s wings were different colors, one wing was white and one wing was
blue. Since my mother refused to tell me her secret about the color of the
bench, I asked the butterfly. The two-toned
butterfly flew away without saying anything.
I was looking at the blue butterflies fluttering around me. The blue and white one has never reappeared.
The color of the
bench never seemed dark to me, but the bench was always dark. When I looked through the known colors in my
mind, I would always put those three colors together. The dark color was a color I would forever
remember.
A time passed, the
bench became darker and my mother’s arms became strange and pale.
The old oak tree
spoke abruptly to my mother. “Tree-sha
is too small and young.” “Where is her
fruit?” I could hear his limbs shaking
and cracking as he spoke to her. I do
not know why, but I felt pain. I could
feel how his anger shook my leaves. My
leaves were very soft and fragile. My
mom would cuddle me and always tell me what tender and lovely leaves I had.
She told the
mighty oak, “Tree-sha needs some time.” “I will care for her as best I can.” The
little birds sang and whistled loudly to cover her voice because her voice was
not as confident as her words. The oak tree scoffed. “Really?
You cannot lie. Lies do not work
for you. Can you not see how weak and
small she is? How much time does she
need to grow up? She will never grow up.”
“My tree-sha will
grow up,” my mom said in a persuasive
voice. She hugged me more tightly; not a gentle embrace. It was a gesture of something else; something
I cannot explain. Even still, I did not
feel any discomfort. I loved when my mom
protected me. I felt safe and sound in
her arms. Her branches would warm me at
night and they would cool and calm me down by day.
Why did that old
oak tree call me small and weak? What
did he mean with the words that I could not grow up? I had many questions I wanted answered. The next day I did not say anything to my mom
about my questions. She, herself,f
seemed very sad and preoccupied. I
anticipated the cause for my mom’s sadness was much more important than the
color of the bench. The moon set seven
times and seven times I still kept my questions quiet. My heart told me that it was better to be
silent.
My Mom at last
broke the silence. “Tree-sha, you know how much I love you.” Her timid words flew on the breeze and when
they finally reached me, I felt goose bumps on my tender branches.
“I know, mom,” I
quietly replied. But my voice was not as
confidant as the words I spoke.
She spoke even
quieter, “No, you do not know.” I spoke
stronger, “I do not know how much you love me. And, I do not know the color of that
bench!” As I stood pointing at the dark
background my mom smiled, but it was not a happy smile. “Tree-sha, you can find the answer to that
question by yourself.”
My voice broke the
silence this time. “How are you? I am here with you all the time, but you do
not tell me the answers to my questions.”
I looked at her annoyingly, but she was not looking at me.
She was staring at
the blue sky.
I heard the rustle
of the leaves and it was if they were saying never be late. I hoped it was not too late. I became confused, I could not understand her
words. I wanted to ask her my
questions. She wrapped her pale limbs
around me, hugged me very tight and softly whispered into my ear, “I love you
Tree-sha. You should remember
this.” These were the last words I
heard my mother say. I love you
Tree-sha. You should remember this. As she hugged me the last of her lovely
leaves fell to the ground, and the wind whisked them away. The following day I nervously looked for
her, but she was nowhere to be found. I
searched for the old oak, but he had also disappeared.
For the first time
in my life I felt the cold of night.
For the first
time, I felt how much I missed my mom.
I asked the trees
in the grove about my mom. No one knew
anything about her. They would rustle
their leaves and it sounded like laughter to me. Maybe they were laughing in their hearts,
laughing at my tiny branches and my endless questions. It was hard not to pay attention to
them. I learned to let the wind sweep
away their negative responses. I learned
to be calm and to stop my leaves from quaking so much. I continued to count the moons 42, 43,
44. I could not count the 45th moon. It did not show it’s face. By then I had learned that we cannot exist
in the same place at the same time. We could
not react the same even if we had the same experience. I
couldn’t count the moons and I couldn’t stop thinking about my mom. Why did she leave me? Maybe somebody forced her. I know into the depths of my heart that she loved
me. She loved me and would never leave
me by choice. I kept searching for
her. I would not give up. The moon came back until it disappeared
again. I could not count how many times
the moon appeared and disappeared again.
I felt as if infinity had passed since I left home. I had never been anywhere outside the Realm
of Trees in my young life. Maybe I would
have never gone outside the realm had my mom not disappeared. I wanted so badly to see her with her
beautiful green branches open in the meadow.
I smell her; I feel her warmth at sunset. She was so sweet, so warm…. I had looked for
her scent for a long time. I could never
find anything stronger or nicer than her smell.
Tree-sha…Tree-sha…
Tree-sha…. I kept repeating my name over and over again. I did not want to forget my name. Little by little my mom’s face was fading,
and so was mine. Where my tiny limbs
once were, strong and rough branches stretched forth. How strong and fast they were growing worried
me. I had been a long time without my mom. I could only compare my rough bark to the
roughness of losing her.
It did not matter
anymore.
I was in the park
when the full moon appeared. This was
when I first saw people. There were two
of them; a mother and her daughter. The woman had long blonde hair that fell to
her waist. The little girl’s short bright
hair waved in the wind. This was the
scent I longed for. The scent I had
sought to find again.
“Have your ice
cream quickly, it is going to melt.”
There was no one around them. I
could hear the woman’s soft voice so clearly.
I did not even have to stop moving my branches to hear her words. The little girl in a blue dress started
eating the ice cream so quickly that she dropped the stick she was
holding. I do not know why, but if I could
put my whole life into a container, that container would be a big container of
those slippery sticks. My life with my
mom was like eating ice cream. My
childhood was like eating ice cream.
You think that the ice cream will never end, but it melts and it
slips. Then all of a sudden it
falls. You want to savor the sweetest
taste, but if you don’t eat it quickly enough, it will slip and fall. It drops and melts away with the time. My childhood melted away.
The dropped ice cream
didn’t seem to interest the woman and she took something from her purse. It was white and it took my breath away to
see how the bench colored smoke passed from her mouth.
How grey and black
it is at the same time. The ginger haired
girl glanced at the smoke and smiled. “Mom, what is this?” “Nothing Alisa.” The
woman answered exactly the way my mom would answer me. My thoughts had already moved on.
Grey and black,
black and grey… I realized these were
the colors my mom used to hide from me.
I asked myself again why these colors were special. How stupid… I could not even finish my
thoughts when the woman carelessly dropped something white on my leg. Suddenly I became blind with pain. It hurt me.
It hurt horribly. Can it be more
painful than when a child hurts their knee playing ball? Would it be more painful if the moon and the
sun did not rise? These were unanswered
bitter questions, which reminded me every night of my most painful memory. It was when my mom left me.
“Oh, these humans…
they cannot realize the many stupid things they do, poor sweet girl.” I
felt someone tenderly touching my injured branch. The touch felt like soft leaves. I opened an eye to see who was caressing my
wound. There was a young tree next to
me, which was angrily rustling his green leaves.
“Have you woken
up?” he asked me with a sigh of relief and gently removed his leaves from
me. “Even the neighbors heard you
screaming. Has it happened to you yet? It is strange. It is stranger than humans. By the way, my name is Tree-war. What is your name?” As soon as he saw the expression on my face,
he held out his branch for me to shake.
I politely extended my hand to him and told him my name was Tree-sha.
“It is a beautiful name,” he said. He seemed to sing my name. “Tree-sha, Tree-sha, Tree-sha.” It had been a long time since somebody
addressed me by my name. It was strange
to hear.
“What is wrong
with these people?” I shrieked. Are they going to burn me? How horrible of them!”
“They act like
this all the time. Why are you
surprised?” my new friend inquired. “It
is true, changes are never late. But when it comes to humans, things are too
complicated.”
We were still in
the park, and it was still warm. I
looked around and when I could not see the blonde woman I calmed down. My branch was still painful, but a little
less than it was the day before. It had
been a long time since I talked to some one.
The words burst out of me. I
talked more and more with Tree-war. I
told him everything and how I left to find my mom. I saw a flash of sadness in his eyes.
“My parents were
taken by humans.” It was the first time
my questions were answered before I even asked them. “I have not seen them since.” I did not know what it all meant. Neither did Tree-war. “I do not know why mine abandoned me.” I sadly complained. “I think your mom did the right thing.” “Look at yourself Tree-sha!” Tree-war was leaning his strong branches
towards me. “I think you are an apple
tree. And you are growing up. Can’t you see?” I looked.
Here and there on my branches were round shapes. I had noticed my branches becoming stronger
almost twenty moons before. “Your
apples appear to be red.” sang Tree-war to me.
I smiled when I heard a new color.
It was the most wonderful color, after blue of course. Tree-war asked, “Do you want to go back to the
Realm of Trees? I am sure your mom will be there. I can come with you.” Tree-war opened his branches wide as if he
were ready to leave.
“Will you really
come with me?”
“Yes. We’ve know so much about each other. I think we were already friends. There is nothing left for me here. Why shouldn’t I go with my friend to find her
mother?” Tree-war smiled warmly.
I felt the warmth
inside my heart. Suddenly I saw a
butterfly. As if it weren’t enough
already, she was sitting on Tree-war’s head.
One of her wings was blue, the other one white. It was the same butterfly I had seen so many
moons ago. The butterfly taught me to
trust.
More than ever, I
was aware of the colors around me.
My mom would hug
me tightly at the Tree Realm.
This time, I would
not be under her shade. I would be in
the open space where I could see the sun, the moon and the colorful
butterflies.
I hoped my mom
would meet me there, but I would not
worry if she was not able.
Mothers need their
children. They need this even more than
the children do.
I remembered she
loved me.
I was not cold that
night in the open space of the meadow.
And for the first
time in my life, I fell in love with my friend.
Ana Bochorishvi
Translated by Madona Seliamshvili
Edited by Amy Simmons
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